Is Marluxia Gay or Europian?
by Animefrk12
Summary: The question all Kingdom Heart fans have asked! Get ready for the answer! No pairings...


Is Marluxia Gay or Europian?

For some unknown reason I absolutley love this song. It got me thinking about Marly and thus this was made! Hope yall like it!

Disclaimers: I have in no way own Kingdom Hearts or Legally Blonde. I do own myself though! Or at least I hope so O_o. 

Animefrk12 entered the Castle That Never Was. On her way through she caught a glimpse of Marluxia in his rose garden. A single question swimmed through her mind as she and Roxas and Axel. "Have you guys ever wondered if Marluxia is gay?" "I don't know but I think Xemnas really shouldn't have given you that key..." "Xemnas never gave me any key." "Then how did you... You know what never mind." Roxas said.

Marluxia walked across them. Then music started

"There! Right there! Look at that tan, that tinted skin. Look at the killer shape he's in. Look at that slightly stubbly chin. Oh Please he's gay, totally gay!"

Xemnas came to see where the music was coming, of course to see the three most hated on his list. (it's a long list too).

"I'm not about to celebrate. Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate. This guy's not gay, I say not gay." Xemnas pointed out. Animefrk12 rolled her eyes.

The other members came to see what was happening and where the starnge music was coming from.

"Why is it that whenever she's here something happens!" Xaldin complained.

"That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to assume that a man who wears perfume is automatically radically fey?" They all chimed.

"But look at his coiffed and crispy locks." Xigbar piped. "Look at his silk translucent socks!" Animefrk12 pointed, by this point Malruxia could here the faint sound of singing, he started to walk down to the hall... That never was. (sorry couldn't resist!)

"There's the eternal paradox. Look what we're seeing." Saix turned to Animefrk12 who was on the phone with the Destiny Islands crew.

"Hey get over here, we're going to reveal one of the biggest rumor!" "Which one?" Kairis voice echoed from the cell phone. "Number 2." "Xemnas is Darth Vadars role model?" "No, is Marluxia gay!" Silence went through the phone. "We'll be right over!"

"What are we seeing?" Animefrk12 flipped the phone off and looked over to Xemnas. "How many rumors are their?" She shrugged. "At least over 100."

"Is he gay?" Xemnas shook his head as he sang along.

"Of course he's gay." Namine interupted as she opened the door for the DI crew.

"Or Europian?" Saix yelled, enough for Marluxia to hear. His jaw dropped and was horrified.

"Ohhhhhh..." Everyone pondered. The music had gone lower due to the new resolution.

...

"Gay or European?  
It's hard to guarantee  
Is he gay or European?" They all said.

"Well hey don't look at me!" Sora said as the others turned to him.

"You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.  
They play peculiar sports." Kairi said factly.

"In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.  
Gay or foreign fella?  
The answer could take weeks.  
They will say things like "ciao bella"  
while they kiss you on both cheeks." Everyone except one said.

"Oh please!" Animefrk12 rolled her eyes.

"Gay or European?  
So many shades of gray." They all said.

"Depending on the time of day, the French go either way." Axel said.

"Is he gay or European?  
or-" They were all interuppted by Larxene.

"There! Right There!  
Look at that condescending smirk.  
Seen it on every guy at work.  
That is a metro hetero jerk.  
That guy's not gay, I say no way." She sneered.

"That is the elephant in the room.  
Well is it relevant to presume  
that a hottie in that costume" Marluxia was appalled and flushed hard. He was yelling and screaming at them all but they ignored him.

"Is automatically-radically..." Xion said

"Ironically chronically..." Zexion continued.

"Certainly pertin'tly..." Kairi added.

"Genetically medically...." Lexeause ended.

Animefrk12 gasped. "It talked!"

"GAY!  
OFFICIALLY GAY!  
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY  
DAMNIT!" Everyone yelled.

"Gay or European?"

"So stylish and relaxed." Luxord said, dealing cards with Animefrk12, starting a game.

"Is he gay or European?"

"I think his chest is waxed." Demyx stuck his tongue out while trying to strum a tune.

"But they bring their boys up different there.  
It's culturally diverse.  
It's not a fashion curse." Xion pointed out.

"If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.  
Gay or just exotic?  
I still can't crack the code." Everyone started picturing what he would look like in either, then started laughing hysterically. Marluxia started cussing loudly for them to stop and was yelling at the heavens to stop the music.

"Yet his accent is hypnotic  
but his shoes are pointy toed." Roxas sang as the others lifted his boot which was indeed pointy toed.

"Huh." They all figured. 

"Gay or European?  
So many shades of gray."

"But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday." Someone random said. (sorry can't see anyone of the orginization wanting to date Marly)

"Is he gay or European?  
gay or european?  
Gay or Euro-"

"Wait a minute!  
Give me a chance to crack this guy.  
I have an idea I'd like to try." Animefrk12 asked.

"The floor is yours." Riku said. 

She brought out some glasses and inspected Marluxia.

"So Mr. **Fluer**...  
This obsession with flowers has been going on for...?"

Marluxia was now confused. "Since I was born"

"And your first name again is...?" The questions continued.

"Marluxia." He said in an obvious tone.

"And your boyfriend's name is...?" Animefrk12 smirked.

"Vexen." Everyone except the mad scientist gasped. Animefrk12's glasses had fallen off. 

Marluxia was flustered and started flinging his hands everywhere "I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.  
I thought you say best friend. Vexen is my best friend."

"You bastard!"  
Everyone turned Vexens way

"You lying bastard!  
Then they turned Marluxias way

"That's it.  
I no cover for you, no more!  
Peoples.  
I have a big announcement.  
This man is Gay and European!" 

Everyone yelled "Whoa!"

"You've got to stop your being  
a completely closet case." 

They all yelled "No!"

"No matter what he say.  
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way." 

He then turned to Marluxia and with each sentence he poked him in the shoulder.

"You are so gay.  
You big parfait!  
You flaming boy band cabaret."

"I'm straight!" Marluxia yelled furiously

"You were not yesterday.  
So if I may, I'm proud to say,  
He's gay!"

Vexen sang.

"And European!" 

They all yelled

"He's gay!"

"And European!"

"He's gay!"

"And European and Gay!"

"Fine okay I'm gay!" Marluxia yelled

"Hooray!" Everyone screamed

"Yay! I won!!" Animefrk12 yelled as the poker game between Luxord and her ended.

"Alright everyone you heard him! The question that almost every Kingdom Hearts fan have asked! Is Marluxia gay or Europian! Apparently he's both..."

"Well bye everyone! I gotta get going!" No one answered. "Hey! Dumbasses I'm leaving!!!!!!!!!" They all jumped at the yelling. Some people mumbled goodbyes, I'm going to kill her, or Who cares.

A/N: Hey everyone sorry I haven't written much. I've been really busy sometimes, mostly school, and I finally got a weekend to myself, since I've gotten sick. Blegh, so now I have to stay home all day.

Fluer is french for flower, I kinda had to figure out a last name for him so what better name then a flower, or just flower. Eh, well hope ya like it and review are appreciated by pretty much everyone. But if ya flame, then I'll post it on my profile and have pretty much have people around the world laugh at it and say what a low life he/she is.


End file.
